Because I never do these things on their assigned days . . .

1. Lying down on the couch, or stretching out on a recliner?
never owned a recliner
2. Going barefoot or wearing soft slippers?
I love soft slippers for about five minutes until my feet get sweaty
3. Eating ice cream, or pizza?
ice cream
4. Watching on TV...a classic movie or a reality show?
reality shows make me really tense. I'll take To Sir With Love or Breakfast at Tiffany's anytime.
5. Wearing: blue jeans or sweat pants?
thanks for reminding me that none of my jeans fit and most of my sweat pants are too snug. That said, sweats.
6. A long, soothing bubble bath or a quick, invigorating shower?
bubble bath, duh
7. Furniture: leather, or something more on the fuzzy side?
fuzzy
8. Soft, classical music, or upbeat rock & roll?
other
9. Darkness or light?
depends on if I want to read or not
10. Thought-provoking question of the week: You get married, or otherwise begin cohabitating with a significant other. S/he moves into your place, but brings with them the UGLIEST chair you have ever seen! You really don't want this thing in your home, but SO says it is the most comfy chair s/he has ever sat in, and no way will they part with it. Do you: grin and bear it, or scheme to get rid of the montrosity somehow?
Chair???? Oh, PLEASE! Try snakes, lizards (one that will be bigger than me when it's grown up), spiders, cockroaches (the huge hissing ones), scorpions, and (icky icky icky) rats in the freezer (for the lizard). Chair? Ha ha ha. And he was willing to accept my three kids as his own, so we won't even ask him the chair question. Chair. Right.

I woke Nate up earlish this morning. He still was up until almost 10, and was cranky as hell all day long. We'll get back to that early bedtime, though. I am determined.

The mom who hates it when her children refuse to take blame for things (you know, "It wasn't my fault"), did just that today in front of the kids. I pick Lex up at school, but since Willow was born I get him in the front driveway instead of parking and walking to his classroom. I pulled into the driveway today behind a woman who appeared to be leaving. Instead, she parked and got out of her car (a HUGE pet peeve of mine) in the "NO PARKING" loading zone area. So, I was kinda blocking the sidewalk just a little tiny bit with part of my van. Okay, all of it. A policeman knocked on my window. Oops. I didn't look at first because I figured the noise was coming from those darling children I was tuning out. He told me to move it because I was blocking the sidewalk. (There was probably a school bus really close by; I'm a horrible selfish bitch, I know.) Does my total rampant overuse of ( )'s drive anyone else batty? I just can't seem to snap out of it. Whatever. I'm just stalling now aren't I? I said to the police officer, "OH, I thought she --pointing to the parked car lady-- was going to move when I pulled in and now I'm kinda stuck behind her." He just said, "But she didn't. You are blocking the sidewalk, MOVE your car." Jeez, I felt like such a little kid. I'd hate to get busted doing something serious. But the point is I didn't apologize and move, I made an excuse just like my kids always do. I'm sure the officer was really annoyed.

I had a rough day with the kids. I was feeling like a big fat sick crankpot anyway, and then they were horrid and every time I put Willow down after getting her to sleep, she'd wake up and need to be held. So, at one point in the afternoon after trying for quite awhile to get the house just a little picked up I got really upset over something and I just sat on the bottom bunk of the beds with Willow and cried. Just a little. Sophie came up to me with bright green snot all over her face and said, "Mama, okay?" I said I was. Then she asked, "Hungee? Unt pastA? Unt pizzE? Candy? Gocklit?" I love her.

I'm in such trouble. Sophie is getting up earlier and earlier every day, while Nathan is staying up later at night and sleeping in until, oh, 10:30 or so in the morning. Plus, I let the kids watch the Goonies, because I forgot that they say 'shit' a few times (no big deal, really, for my way of thinking) and that there are skeletons (but not alive ones like in Spy Kids II, which is not too scary for them) and a few too many scenes with a dead body (but Star Wars isn't too scary (I didn't let them watch it because I thought it would be) and that has Darth Vader and burned dead bodies, not just frozen ones. . . ). Lexy was scared to death tonight. Like shivering scared. I felt really bad, until the whining drove me into a crabby mood and I told him he shouldn't be afraid of a guy in makeup and demanded that he tell me what, exactly, a frozen not real dead guy from a twenty year old movie could do to him. I know that's awful, but it was getting to be ten o'clock and we went to bed at eight thirty; I was done. So, will be checking pockets more carefully and screening movies that I haven't seen recently. He did like it, though. He wanted to watch it again right after it was over.

Nathan is finally tired. I know what you're thinking, I should put him to be on time and he'll get back to his old schedule pretty quickly. Thing is, if he's not tired he fidgets and kicks and makes weird noises and demands drinks and has to pee fifty times, and frankly I can't put up with that anymore. I think I'll take the other approach and drag him out of bed early enough to make him go to sleep at a reasonable hour. They'll be with me only for the next eleven days, so I'm hoping to get them all on an earlier bedtime. How sadly uninteresting this all is!

I have a friend who has a two year old. Her friend (with no kids) from San Diego calls on Monday mornings and always asks her what she did over the weekend. Her reply? "My life is so painfully boring; please don't ask me to recite it to you!" Really it's not that boring, it's just repetitive. But Nathan just told me he hid pretzels in his underwear, "because it's fun," so maybe things really are exciting!!!

I found this link on Supercenter, which I thought was under my link section already, but wasn't so I added it. What's your Ecological Footprint?


FOOD 3.5
MOBILITY 0.5
SHELTER 2
GOODS/SERVICES 1.7
TOTAL FOOTPRINT 8

IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 24 ACRES PER PERSON.

WORLDWIDE, THERE EXIST 4.5 BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE ACRES PER PERSON.

IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE YOU, WE WOULD NEED 1.7 PLANETS.


I found this by way of Uffish Thoughts. Quite enjoyable. While reading that website, I discovered that the horrible Rick Santorum thinks the government should be able to regulate not only what married couples may do in the privacy of their homes, but that he also thinks the government should have more say over birth control issues. Not abortion, birth control. Good golly, everyone could end up with dozens of children, like me!

Speaking of children . . .
Today Willow had a check up. We held off on her shots, despite slight pressure from the physician's assistant. She is 6 lbs., 12 and 1/2 oz. and 21 and 1/2 inches. That's compared to 4 lbs., 7 oz. and 16 in. at birth nine weeks ago. Yay Willow!! She's still a little stuffy and slept a lot today, but seems pretty okay. I'm going to pack up her preemie clothes this week. Why does that make me a little sad? I'm thrilled that she's growing so fast. I can't figure that out. Maybe because she's the last. At least until Rick Santorum is president and women have children every two years until a group of sleep deprived mothers drive him to suicide by screaming at him nonstop that they 'want apple juice, right now!!!' and 'it isn't fair that she gets to sit by the window,' and 'you can't make me,' while coloring on his office walls and poking holes in the upholstery with sharp pencils. Heh, sorry, got carried away there. W-40 fumes.


Sophie. Sophie, Sophie, Sophie. Which is grossest?
a) Eating boogers gleefully,
b) Finding the to go container from her brother's meal at a Denny's-type place (which he had hidden behind the dresser for later, I imagine), and eating part of a six day old unrefrigerated hamburger patty. (Did I ever mention that I'm a vegetarian with an easily-triggered gag reflex?), or
c) Dipping her sock into the toilet and sucking the water out of it? (oh, I'm still retching over that one)

The crayola disaster of 2003 continues. I cleaned the dryer drum with a cloth diaper and some WD-40. It will remain a little green, I fear. Will work on selected items from the fateful wash load as time permits. There are a few things I really want to salvage. I did check all the pockets, but I will put more effort into that task from now on.

The boys were gone all day. It was still a busy day, but it was quieter. Within minutes of their return, things were back to the deafening normal that we've acclimated to. Nate had two naps today, (I don't recommend that unless your child is ill or under a year or so old. He wasn't with me is all I'll say) and is standing here wanting to play. I hoped I'd bore him to sleep by checking my email, blog surfing and writing this entry. No dice. Guess we'll go see if there's anything boring to read. Goodnight.

Willow has her first cold. She has a hard time breathing because of all the green snot in her nose, so I decided to suction it out. I used the little bulb syringe thingie from the hospital. If barbie had a one gallon milk jug, that's how much ick I vacuumed out of Willow's nose. What's that? A teaspoon or so? Anyhow, I was squeezing the contents of the syringe onto a clean cloth diaper. I got a little too close at one point, and instead of hitting the diaper, the snot flew right into my left eye. It'll be miraculous if I don't get pink eye from that. Time to get ready for Willow's doctor visit.

Here's a fifteen minute slice from the weekend:

Kids come home from their dad's house.
Nate: I pooped my pants today.
Sophie: I want gacklit. I want appa juuuuice. I want ilk.
Nate: Where's my surprise? What'djya buyme?
Me: Hmmm. How about something kinda small?

I get out the Trader Joe's brand oreos. We all, except Willow, who is busy spitting up anyway, have some. I pour apple juice for everyone but Willow, who is spitting up, again, and obviously does not yet drink apple juice. Bustle about, getting kids ready for bed. This includes assisted teeth brushing for all with teeth, diapers for three of the four, and pajamas for a different three of the four. Also lots of running up and down the hall. Lots of, "Please walk in the house"-es and "Stop running!!"-s. One severely bumped head (Nate), and very leaky poopy diaper (Willow). Lots and lots of questions about Lord of the Rings (Lexy), and demands for nee (Sophie). Two incidents of Papa shouting out good alternative cuss words. One was over Sophie's decision to dump her milk on the carpet by our bed, which was, John pointed out, about the only place in the house where the carpet isn't stained, and the other was when John went to change the laundry (you know, clothes out of the dryer to fold and put away, clothes from the washer into the dryer, new dirty clothes into the washer. . . what else is that called? I can't think of it), and discovered that all the clothes in the dryer, and the dryer drum had been stained "Spring Green" by the crayon in someone's pocket. (Not me, I didn't do it. Don't blame me.) I called my mom and asked her what to do. Yes, it happened to her once, and yes, the first thing she did was call her mom.

How's that for about fifteen minutes?

The crayon website suggests spraying the clothes with WD-40 and then doing a magic dance with dish soap and lots of paper towels. I think this will probably undo my years of buying PETROLEUM FREE laundry detergent. I get the stuff that will biodegrade in the foreseeable future.

Nate used to call the washing machine the "wetter." I miss that.

I hope the WD-40 works, there are some good clothes in that stack of green-spotted laundry. Those children are lucky that none of them are mine!

I want the fabric I ordered last week to get here.

Oh, can it be? All the children are asleep -- that's my cue. 'night

Happy Friday!

1. What was the last TV show you watched?
The i forget his first name Walsh show was on in the lab waiting room yesterday. He was interviewing middle aged anorexic women. Gag. No pun intended.

2. What was the last thing you complained about and what was the problem?
My neck. It hurts. Lexy rubbed it for me. That reminds me, I complained about their fighting after the neck thing. I also remembered that item #2 from Sophie's list from yesterday was: 2) she shook and flung a bag of toasted pine nuts all over the living room. I could also complain that she was dressed in only a diaper and black tights all afternoon (like a little nudist beatnik) because she sat in mud in her pretty fairy dress and the dress went directly to the laundry pile when she came in. This would have been fine had she not done the following: After John left to walk to the store with the boys, and Willow was settled in to nurse after fussing awhile, she pooped. Okay so far. Then she walked up to me with both hands looking (Oh yikes, please let me be right!!!!) muddy. Hmmm. Guess it's good mud does not smell like that. She's saying, "Ohhhh, caca, poop," over and over. I herd her to the tub saying, "Don't touch anything!" and while still nursing Willow, bend over and get the toys and last night's peed in pj's out of the tub. I turn on the water, lift her in without touching her hands (still nursing), and get her tights and diaper off. Then I put Willow down and while she cried I quickly got Soph cleaned up. When John and the boys came back I was nursing Willow again and checking the livingroom carpet for more caca poop. Didn't find any, luckily.

I am an accomplished complainer.

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?
Lexy. I thanked him for helping me and having fun with me this afternoon.

4. What was the last thing you threw away?
Old tortellini, if the garbage disposal counts, or a wet pampers (yup, the cloth diaper advocate, that'd be me. No clean Sophie-sized diaper covers), if you want real trash.

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?
Ayun Halliday/ East Village Inky


Sleepy sleepy. It was the perfect day to stay home and read all day. It was grey and rainy this morning, then it cleared up and was nice enough to get out of bed and read on the big swing in the backyard while enjoying the sun. I can pretend, too.

Things I saw today on my outing to the doctor:

-A woman in a BMW picking her nose. Really going for it.
-In the waiting room at the lab while waiting to get my blood drawn there was a little girl, about three, wearing blues clues overalls. She was waiting so patiently, sitting on her father's lap or on a chair, quietly looking around. She saw a newspaper ad on the floor that had a bunch of different styles of sandals. She silently took it over to her mother and handed it to her. She didn't whine or even ask for anything. The mother said, "You have enough shoes already, SHUT UP!" Later on I could tell she wanted to look at Willow, so I went over to her and let her take a moment to say hello. If that mother would do that in public, I don't want to imagine what goes on at home.
-As I drove home from the hospital, a man on a bike rode towards it. He was wearing a backpack that was unzipped at the top to hold a bouquet of flowers, a few of which were yellow and orange gerbera daisies.

Silly words the kids have made up that make me laugh:

Lope -- this is a liquid measurement, used primarily for gasoline. As in, "How many lopes of gas did we get?"
Scrample -- another measurement, this time used for poop. "Mom, there's a small scrample of poop in my underwear." (Sorry, I know that's pretty icky, but I have four kids and stuff like that ceased to phase me long ago.)
Geggy Leggy -- a newborn baby
Nee -- Nursing or breast. Nee is a verb and a noun. Soph will say, "I want nee," or sometimes, "I want to nee." This is good when she decides she wants to nurse in the grocery store and yells out, "I want nee," I get far less dirty looks than I did when Lexy would be sitting in the cart shouting, "Nurse me right now!!"


Ever have vertigo? I got up with Willow at 5 am and walked into a wall. I'm listing, I need an alignment. My ears were ringing and I felt sick. I'm okay now, but it was bizarre. I'll have to google it and figure out why it happens. Maybe a middle ear thing. No, Willow wasn't hurt by the way.

Another very cool way to part with your dollars via Womanchild. It's okay, you'll be getting fabulous art and supporting an artist in return! Go look at The Paper Moon. Make sure to click on the images to see the full view, I missed that the first time. Someday I'd love to have a living room with a bunch of her stuff on the walls. When she starts selling children's clothes I'm going to have to get a job.

Why Nathan



is so lucky to be cute:
1) He broke the Easter basket that I've had for over 30 years, and 2) While watching a Little Bear videotape he went to the kitchen, got a metal bowl, brought it into the living room and, so he wouldn't miss any of the videotaped program, peed in the bowl. I was, obviously, not in the room. And yes, I yelled, even though I started on Easter with my plan to not yell anymore.

Why Sophie



is lucky to be cute:
1) She threw a washcloth into the toilet (and the phone, and the rubber duck, and Lexy's toothbrush, and the new toothpaste . . . ) and 2) Okay, so I forgot the other. Must not have been too bad. Lexy is lucky to be cute because he just peed in the bed so I'll go clean up (which means put a towel on it 'till morning, because I am Mother of the Year). Goodnight ( *

It's almost Tuesday.

1. Yummier: Chocolate ice cream or strawberry cheesecake?
ice cream

2. Better to watch on TV: Movies or sports?
movies (don't have cable, though, so the tv is just a screen for the vcr/dvd players. Every time my stepmom asks if I saw something on tv and I tell her, "No, we don't have cable," she says, "Oh, you poor thing!" We don't want cable, shocking as that may seem to some!) (I'm not trying to sound like a snob, sorry)

3. A better web browser: MSIE or Netscape (or tell us your own favorite!)
I don't know enough about it to have a favorite!

4. A better way to travel: Automobile or bus/train?
In a hurry, auto; leisure, train

5. Your preferred camera: Digital or film?
film

6. A Cooler Vehicle: Motorcycle or sports car?
motorcycle (1940's Indian with sidecar)

7. More fun: Video games or board games?
board

8. Sexier: A perfect body or an intelligent mind?
the mind

9. A stinkier smell: Skunk or gasoline (petrol)?
Skunk! Funny, once I smelled a dog that had just been sprayed by a skunk and she smelled like some petroleum product -- an oily/gas smell. It smells very different when it is roadkill.

10. Thought-provoking question of the week: What is more important to you: making a ton of money and being at the top of your field, or finding your soulmate and living a comfortable but not wealthy life?
I am living a comfortable life with my soulmate.

Should have had the EB bring more chocolate. Feeling blah. Every reason to feel wonderful. Feeling blah.

Well we just paid $328.00 to jump start the van. The mechanic had to jump start it after it was towed in because the battery was dead. Then he turned off the alarm using the remote that would not work for us on Wednesday. Then he spent 2 hours trying to make the alarm do what it did to us, but it behaved. He put on a new e-brake handle and cable, because that was broken. Last time it broke and I had it fixed it only lasted a couple of months, so I didn't ask him to repair it. However, since I told him it was broken, he figured I wanted him to fix it. Whatever. The stupid part is $72. I could have bought two pair of really cute shoes at Bunny's in Santa Cruz for that. Oh well, the van works now so I should just be glad.

I'm listening to The Innocence Mission. I only saw them perform once when they opened for Natalie Merchant. It was funny, my brother's old girlfriend bought me tickets for the Natalie Merchant show and was super pissed off at me because I was more excited to see The Innocence Mission than Natalie Merchant. I bought an IM tshirt and cd, but not Natalie Merchant ones. She didn't talk to me much on the way home. We really really love the current girlfriend!!

It's time to go dye eggs. I'm sure I'll have photos to post in the next week or so.

Tonight I decided to get the Easter baskets out and fill some of the plastic eggs with jellybeans to make Saturday night a smidge easier. (okay, really I just needed some sugar) I ate three of the Dr. Pepper flavored jelly bellys and I still don't know if they are brilliant or revolting. The new flavors are intriguing. One is described as "ecru w/ rust." Yummmm. That's caramel corn. You have to think now if you are choosy about what flavors you'll eat: there's "opaque lime" (that's a color) and also "light green." You have to differentiate between "tan" and "cream." Raspberry is called "maroon," while the Dr. Pepper is "reddish brown," another appetizing description. I was civilized and did not eat all the chocolate bunnies even though I could have bought more before Sunday morning.

Sophie has perfected her bunk bed climbing technique. She likes to get up there and take off her clothes and diaper and fling them to the floor. "Oh, girls are soooo different from boys. You'll have it so much easier now that you have a girl." Uh huh.

Imagine this scene:
Time to leave for their dad's house. Boys finally put on their shoes and brush their teeth after being asked to do so every three minutes for about an hour. (I'm serious. I almost threw shoes at their sweet little heads.) I don't see Sophie, but I do see her shoes and socks that I wrestled onto her now laying on the couch footless, and I notice the sliding door is open. Did I mention that it's raining? Soph is in the backyard (there's no yard per se, but she's in that area) playing in the very wet little kiddie car. She is not interested in coming out and putting her shoes on again. I decide to put the backpack and the boys and the baby and Sophie's shoes into the car and come back for her. I get to the driveway and John is just pulling in. Yay! I don't know where my keys are, so we open the van with his. Now the fun really begins.

For some reason** the alarm goes off. Luckily the horn hasn't worked on the van for awhile. It's on my list of "Things to Do." Yes, I know it's a safety hazard. Yes, I know Kragens carries the part for under twenty bucks. But we are all happy that the horn was inoperable today. We find my keys, which have the little remote on them. The alarm won't turn off. The little remote seems sort of dead. I go inside to look for the battery replacement that I know is there somewhere and to give a call to their dad to tell him we'll be late. There's only one battery and it is too small. Off goes John to Safeway after strapping Sophie into her seat. No dice. Off goes John to Radio Shack. All the while Lexy is telling me how to fix the problem and whining in a tone that only dogs and his mother can hear about how hungry he is. Sophie is crying. Nate is being a little ornery. John comes back. We try to "unlock" the alarm with the remote. Uh unh. I pull out every fuse in the box. Not helping. Nothing in the van will work, not the automatic door locks or the windows or anything. The manual says that after three minutes the alarm will rearm itself. Not today. We figure we'll just call a tow truck in the morning and have the thing towed to the electrical shop that just took care of John's car.

Their dad did come pick them. But I didn't get to go to the fabric store, and won't have another chance until Friday. I was really happy about the prospect of finding fabric for my little project. The fabric store is probably one of the few places that I really cannot take the kids. I've done it before and have always regretted it. I've never tried with four kids, and I don't plan to.

So, one last thing. I forgot to put one item on yesterday's list of things that Sophie did. She woke up from her nap without me knowing and went into my room. There she found my purse. Inside were three rolls of film. She unspooled them all. I'm gonna take all her Dr. Pepper jelly bellys on Sunday.




**I think the reason is that the stripping at the bottom of the windshield came loose sometime ago and I didn't notice. Over the weekend it rained. Hard. For a long time. On Monday as we drove to my mom's house we heard what sounded for all the world like a lake in the dash. John thought it was a cd he has that has soothing water sounds, until he heard me saying "OH FUCK" over and over as the water cascaded from under the dash and puddled at my feet. It seemed as if most of the water drained out on Monday, and when the sky got grey yesterday, John came to the rescue armed with his trusty duct tape. I thought we'd escaped everything but the inevitable musty rank smell I knew was coming soon. But I think that the alarm problem is water damage related.

Today was Willow's due date. She also turned seven weeks old. Seems like she's always been here, yet I'm amazed at how fast time's going by.

This morning at 9 am, Lex announces that he wants to call his friend who used to be in his class but is now home schooled. So, we call and he's asleep, but I talk to the mom about getting the boys together to play. I should say, tried to talk to the mom. The boys whined, fought and screamed so much right under my feet wherever I went that I had to tell her I'd call her back. I was really really pissed off. When the friend did call back, I had to fight the urge to follow them around while they took turns talking on the phone, poking them and screaming and crying. The funny thing was they both wanted to talk and kept annoying each other. We had yet another discussion about what not to do when someone is on the phone. They seemed to get it, and the fact that they'd both just suffered my usual fate helped. Then I had to call the bank and they sat at my feet arguing. I had to ask the man on the other end to hold while I bitched at them. They got to spend the rest of the day cleaning up their playroom.

Sophie, oh Sophie. This morning she asked for her favorite breakfast, "Heggs." "Heggs" are hard-boiled in her world. Also in her world, the yolk is like some sort of pit or seed that must never be tasted. Sometimes I forget to grab the yolk from her and eat it myself. Today I found it ground into a paste in the carpet in the living room. She may have been trying to plant an heeg tree. I learned that if you ignore that paste for awhile, then vacuum it up when it's dry, it's really easy to take care of. That's my own Hint from Heloise there. Is she still in business? I have so many questions for her.

Sophie also
--ate dry spaghetti from the package
--petted the snake and then put her fingers in her mouth
--stuck her finger up her nose, then sucked on it while saying, "Mmmmmmm" (as in "this tastes really really good")
--was madly driven to rifle through John's desk repeatedly
--learned how to say "Why?"
--asked "Why?" too many times
--peed on the floor
--learned to climb to the top bunk
--threw a plastic car at Nate from the top bunk and hit him in the shoulder
--laughed manically while he sobbed
--found a tiny container of grated parmesan from last night's dinner and ate it and made sure to leave some here and there around the house in case she got hungry later
--threw ham after she was finished chewing on it
--had a medium sized fit in the bathtub while I washed her hair

But, she also
--gave everyone "Big hugs"
--said, "Bye Ganny" to my mom
--kissed Willow and said "Hi, Willllow" (she says is like there are fourteen L's. Not mushed together L's, she repeats the L's)
--pretended to vacuum behind me with her little wooden toy that looks like a push mower
--didn't complain when I vacuumed up her parmesan stash
--gave John a snuggle before he left for work and said "Bye Papa"

I am so tired, and Willow is just going to sleep. Yay! While I was waiting I found these:

MiMi Smartypants

and

Fussy

I need to get out more. Last friday I noticed (horrified but unable to stop myself) that everything I idly chat about comes from the internet, mostly from other people's blogs. And just how do you explain that quote??

Blog Quoter: "My friend said blah blah blah."
Other: "Who is that?"
BQ: "Oh, just someone whose diary I read on an obsessive basis. We've never really met though. Heh heh. It's not as weird as it sounds."

See the problem? And if you do admit you're talking about what someone's blog said, make very very sure you haven't griped about that person on your blog. Cause they'll ask if you have a blog too, and as your mouth says "Why, yes I do," you'll be wondering if you can delete what you said about them before they see it. I've thought about this way too much. Real life. I need to experience mine more.

(sorry if there are typos. spellcheck not working)

It's tuesday, nearly.

1. File taxes as early as possible, or wait until the last possible minute?
early

2. File electronically, or mail paper forms?
paper

3. Prepare your own taxes, or have someone do it for you?
own

4. Are you a saver or a spender?
spender

5. Do you prefer to carry cash, or pay with plastic (credit/debit cards), or by check?
plastic

6. You're broke and desperately need a job, but the only places that are hiring are retail or fast food places. Which would you pick?
retail

7. Keeping track of your money: are you more meticulous or careless about it?
meticulous

8. What do you do if you find yourself with a lot of change weighing down your purse/pocket/wallet? Do you try to spend it to *get rid of it*, or do you put it in a jar or a piggy bank?
kids

9. Which form of fake money do you like better...Monopoly money or those chocolate coins covered with gold foil?
chocolate

10. Thought-provoking question of the week: You find a wallet containing $5,000 in cash, as well as several credit cards and the owner's drivers' license. Your rent is due tomorrow and you're short $200. Do you take the money (some or all of it) and mail back the wallet anonymously...or do you return the wallet with all contents intact?
return intact

John had a job interview today and I have a good feeling that it will lead him where he needs to be. While we waited for him Sophie discovered the allure of throwing rocks into a lake. I even kept her from falling in. When he finished we went for a short hike to look at native plants and flowers. We went to the park after, and the kids slid and spun and ran and climbed and swung. They left wet, muddy and happy. It was only two hours of our day, and certainly the best part of it. I need to get the kids out more soon as Willow is a little bigger.

I started on my long talked about idea for working from home. I don't know how I'll make the time, but I'll try it out.

We got dinner out and I had a Dr. Pepper and my favorite guacamole.

Willow skipped her nightly fuss.

John said the light on my face was pretty.

Willow is smiling.

I got my hair cut. My mom and I went together and had a great time. We even shopped first. Yay! It looks like the picture, maybe a little shorter. Bummer I wasn't magically transformed to look like her, but my hairdresser isn't that talented. The kids didn't notice even though it's about a foot shorter. I'm worried it may have been a mistake, but it grows amazingly fast.

The other day at Trader Joe's, we bought a 2 lb cardboard tin (think oatmeal container) of coffee. While I was changing Willow Sophie got it from the counter and carried it to the couch. We keep the scoop inside whatever bag or box of coffee we have going. Soph pried off the lid and happily scooped coffee onto the couch cushions. It's my own fault, I was looking in the Sunday paper ads and dreaming of new couches.

Yesterday we went out in a pretty ferocious storm (in Willow terms, anyhow) to see Zun Zun, at the Children's Discovery Museum. The info we had was incorrect, so we missed the band but still had a great time, especially Sophie.

Here's a late Friday Five.

1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
Spandau Ballet at the Warfield in SF

2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
Probably the Cowboy Junkies, but John has over 3,000 cds and is always introducing me to new stuff I love.

3. What's your favorite song?
Crescent Moon, Bea's Song, Ring on the Sill or No Birds Today, all by Cowboy Junkies

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
I think most of us could play anything if we applied ourselves; I wish I could sing.

5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
Yikes! What a question. An icon? Maybe Billie Holliday to tell her she'll be loved and famous forever.

I'm going to get a haircut tomorrow. Something like this:



I think I've had three since Nate was born in December of 1998. So, my hair is now down to my butt and driving me crazy. It's still not as long as John's.

I can hear the boys pushing chairs around the kitchen. Are they going for cookies or chips, I wonder? I should go redirect them.

God bless Gripe Water! Willow has been griping tonight and this stuff does the trick. She weighs 5 lbs, 14 oz now and her due date is next Tuesday. Everyone, including my grandmother, is quizzing me about and lecturing me upon the subject of birth control. Jeez, we have a plan, leave me be!!

Sophie threw the cordless phone into the bathtub. Was it full? Of course, with water and boys! Does the phone work anymore? Of course not! Have I ever talked to the kids about how electricity + water = death? Sure I have, didn't you hear Lexy screaming? He really thought it was the end. I'm just bummed because the only other phone we have has a cord, and the only operable phone jack is in the bedroom where John sleeps until noon. This means no 8 am phone marathon with D. I like to start my day with some adult conversation. I find that I say the same things all day: stop climbing on the couch, Sophie please put back the cheese, quit touching your sister, after you finish your lunch you may have a cookie, turn off the tv, eat in the kitchen not on the carpet (if I wasn't too embarrassed to put a photo of our carpet here, that would make you laugh). By the end of the day I'm saying, "Don't you want to watch Barney or something? Mommy needs a minute."

I'm sleepy.

If I lose weight, I'm going to reward myself with this. I don't have lots of time to web surf, so I love it when other blogs (like Womanchild) have pretty things to look at.

Today Nathan told me I look like Agustus Gloop (is that his last name?), and Lexy said, "I know this will hurt your feelings, but my dad's mother is a better cook than you." I told him my feelings weren't hurt, that cooking dinner isn't my talent but that I make good cookies and pie crust and cakes.

It's Tuesday.

1. Sexier (female)...Pamela Anderson or Jennifer Garner?
Jennifer Garner

2. Sexier (male)...Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?
Sean Connery

3. The better piano player...Billy Joel or Elton John?
Elton

4. Funnier...David Letterman or Craig Kilborn?
Dave

5. The dumber cartoon cat...Stimpy (of *Ren & Stimpy*) or Tom (of *Tom & Jerry*)?
Stimpy

6. A better news anchor...Tom Brokaw or Dan Rather?
Peter Jennings

7. A better TV chef...Emeril Lagasse or Jacques Pepin?
Iron Chef

8. The trashier talk show host...Maury Povich or Jerry Springer?
This one I know. Every roommate I had in the hospital watched this crap. These were women with their sweet newborn babies watching tv, which is bad enough, but to watch this sewage???? Jerry Springer

.9. The worse fast food burger joint...McDonald's or Burger King?
Equally vile.

10. Thought-provoking question of the week: Only a handful of U.S. Presidents have been considered to be *great* Of the following two, which one do you consider to be greater...Franklin D. Roosevelt or Abraham Lincoln? Why?
Too hard. They both did amazing things.

Goodnight ( *

I barely remember blogging last night, I was so tired. Yesterday was a busy one. Four o'clock found us all at the park, attending the tail end of a birthday party after my mom had taken the older kids to see The Ugly Duckling at Montalvo. John was pushing Sophie in a swing and I went over to see them. On a swing near them was a man and his son, who was about Lexy's age. (six and a half) The father was holding the son in his lap. The son was paralyzed and had a feeding tube and maybe a tracheotomy tube as well. A little girl asked the father why he was like that. I didn't hear the whole response, but understood that there had been some sort of injury. "He really loves to swing, don't you buddy?" the father said. He was so tender and loving toward his son it broke my heart. The parents fed him in the swing, then the mom went to the park restroom and washed out the syringe and tubing she'd used. It was just like what we'd used with Willow, only bigger. Then they moved to a bench and the father still held his boy with his cheek pressed against his son's. As the made their way home, the mother pushing the boy in his chair, the father walked slightly ahead of them, kicking those spiky round golf ball sized seeds that had fallen from the trees off the sidewalk so the path would be smoother. I watched them from the passenger seat of the van where I sat nursing Willow, so grateful for my children's health, realizing that Willow could have had a life like that boy's had she been born on Christmas, and feeling glad that the boy was at least lucky enough to have the parents he does. It made me feel ashamed for complaining about all the mischief my kids get into.

I really like this vine, but I don't know what it is. We saw it on our hike at Hidden Villa.

When Nate was born I looked at him and thought he looked like his brother's twin. They were so similar as newborns. As they grew they became pretty different, though they still look like siblings. Lexy is thin and long, where Nate is heaver and his face is rounder. But twice in the past couple of days, I've mistaken Nate for Lexy. Once when he was sitting on the couch and I was seeing him in profile, and once in their bed in the dim light. Both times it was so odd. I thought I was talking to Lex and he looked up at me and it was Nate. I'm unsure why I'm writing about this. I think it's because Nate is starting to look older and it makes me a little sad.

Yesterday we went to Target and I bought fat pants and a skirt and chocolate. I'm a ways away from fitting into any of my old clothes and I just cannot wear maternity jeans any longer. Cannot. I got both for about 25 bucks, so it made up for striking out at Old Navy. A long time ago my sister took a laundry pen and made her Old Navy sweatshirt say "Cold Gravy." That always makes me laugh.

There was one more thing, but it's escaping me because I stayed up really late last night, (3:30 am, admitting it makes me cringe) and Sophie got up at 5:30. I'm really sleepy. Goodnight ( *

It's Friday. In other time zones it is.


1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
Apartments: 7
Duplexes: 1 (that's where we are now)
Houses: 4

2. Which was your favorite and why?
I rented a room in a house on the summit of the Santa Cruz Mountains, just off Highway 17. It was surrounded by redwoods and was often foggy. My room had a sliding glass door that led to a wooden deck. I couldn't really see other houses from there, and the deer would come hang out. I miss mornings and late summer nights on that deck.

3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
Now that I have children it is more stressful.

4. What's more important, location or price?
Duh. Location, location, location. The area we live in is stupidly expensive. To live here you have to chose other ways to be thrifty.

5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
Spa bath would be so welcome right now. Also love: fireplace, big big kitchen, nice back yard with studio/office, big bedrooms, porch with swing, closets and cupboards and built-in shelving everywhere, indoor laundry room, attached garage, tile or wood floors and high ceilings with ceiling fans. (Not that I think about it too much or anything)


How embarrassing. I spelled cupboards 'cupards,' and noticed for the first time in my whole life (thanks to spellcheck) that it's 'cupboards', as in boards to put your cups on. What a clever word. I'm feeling less than clever, though. I was also over twenty-one when I realized that my family (on my dad's side) had been lying to me about all the "vitamins" in bread being in the crust. I went to pull the crust off a sandwich I made and thought, "Hmmm, I should eat the crust because it has all the . . . wait a minute!!" Same people who told me that eating fat (as in what surrounds a pork chop or steak) would give me a "good complexion."

Hehehe, that last spellcheck didn't like the word "spellchecker" and had no correct spelling for it.

Sophie's birthday is two months away, but look at what I ordered for her. I got the mama, the baby and the toddler. Soph recently tried to nurse herself. It was very funny, though it looked painful. As she tried, she kept saying "Yummm!" She also tries to pee in the little wooden potty (though I paid less than half that five years ago!) by standing up and facing the seat like her brothers. Then she dutifully tries to hold her penis and aim, but you can see the problem here. I got her to sit on the potty today. Yay!

More Hidden Villa. We had such a great little hike.

Sometimes I think maybe the real reason new babies don't talk is that they know too much, and we wouldn't be able to comphrend the depth of their knowledge. By the time they learn to speak they've forgotten the secrets of the universe. Other times I think they don't talk because all they'd ever say would be, "Is there milk in this? Can I get milk from this? Is there milk in that? Lemme see that, is there milk in it?" and it would drive their parents mad.

Another photo from last Sunday's hike.

When Willow was born the nurses in the NICU made this sign to put on her bed. When I scanned it in it came out actual size, so those are her true little footprints.

I think it's really really interesting that the teenage girl POW who was rescued wasn't shot or stabbed as had been reported. What else is misreported and never corrected?

I was going to relate the story of the man picking up his son from school Monday who yelled obscenities, in front of children, at another man, but he doesn't deserve it. The girls are both sleeping, think I'll nap.

Took Willow a long time to go to sleep. She had lots of spitting up and burping to attend to first. Busy girl. Now she's asleep on my lap. I'll see if I can get into bed with her without waking her up. She will only sleep on one of us or at least in someone's arms. Smart child, good survival instinct. But the mama is pretty tired. Goodnight. ( *
(I totally stole that moon and star thing off another blog (one of the links on Today's Truth) But hey, I have a tattoo just like it that's easily older than she is.)

A Hidden Villanese banana slug, the happiest kind.



A sleeping baby, also the happiest of its kind.

I am so sleep deprived that I am getting loopy. I'm going to go try and remedy that. Look what Lexy made at school. "Y a m" is pronounced "yum" if you don't speak frog or read Kinderprint.

Yay! The plum tree is blooming. Last weekend was gorgeous so we took Willow to Hidden Villa. We got lots of wonderful photos which I'll post over the next week or so. This one



is my favorite, and it makes me glad we stopped for b&w film on the way. We saw tiny baby lambs which are cute beyond reason. We saw newts and banana slugs, some ducks, lots of birds. If I could live anywhere, that's where I'd pick. There's even a wonderful hammock between two trees behind the farmhouse.

Blogger was inoperable last night and I lost my post. Who knows what I went on about, I don't remember. Today after we picked up Lex from school, I bundled up the kids (it got a little cool and stormyish again) and we walked to the barbershop. I put Sophie in the umbrella stroller (as if I have a selection of strollers since I ran over the nice one a month after I got it) and Willow in the Snuggli (corduroy front pack) that my mom bought in 1982 to use for my sister Ashley who just went to Vegas to celebrate her 21st birthday last Saturday but not to see Celine Dion, thank goodness. Where was I? We walked to the barbershop and as Nate climbed up into the chair I noticed they had war tv on. Nate's barber has 4 kids, ages 6, 8, 10 and 12, and he made sure to keep him interested in things other than the tv. I don't think Nate even looked at it. Luckily, the boys were seated in the two chairs on either end of the shop, with the tv in the center. I admit to watching the coverage in the mirror. I haven't seen it at all before. It made me feel ill. Lexy gets the paper every day and asks me to explain the pictures. I hadn't planned on telling the kids too much, but they hear things as they make their way in the world and I answer their questions pretty truthfully. I only answer what they ask, though, I don't go into lots of detail. I generally finish my sentences with, "and that's why George Bush is a bad president." The kids already disliked him over the Alaskan drilling issue.

Speaking of kids, Willow is finally asleep on my lap, so I'm going to go lay down with her. She will only sleep if she's held, so she sleeps on my chest all night. I think it's in Bali where a child's feet aren't allowed to touch the ground until their first birthday, when they have a special ritual and touch the baby's feet to the earth for the first time. I think it's because babies are more in another world than they are here until they're a year or so old. I should research it so we could do that for Willow since we didn't have a blessingway for her. John says we should have a birthday party for her on April 15th, her due date.